| HMMMM! |
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| 03:49pm 18/04/2005 |
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I think I may start using this again.... or maybe a new name or something... I'll keep you updated.... |
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| I'm so blah. |
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| 07:33am 22/12/2004 |
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mood:  angry
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Last night was like a motherfucking family reunion.
So I'm surrounded by all of my best friends, and I still feel completely alone.
I wonder why.
I've never thought something more sarcastically. |
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| Hmm...... |
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| 03:08pm 01/12/2004 |
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mood:  cheerful music: None
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I wanna get hair extensions, hella bad. |
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| So there! |
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| 09:13am 22/11/2004 |
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Everyone thought it couldn't be done. But I finally did it. I got my man. |
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| Me? Who, me???? Who is this?????!?!?!?! |
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| 10:01am 09/11/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: Comedy station on the internet radio
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Hey guys!!!!!!
Remember me? No?
Yeah. me either.
Well, I don't remember the person who wrote the last entry on here. I don't know who that dependent little child was. It's not me. Not anymore anyways.
I hate being in love. The shittiest part is that I'll always love him. I can admit to that.
But I don't have to make it my life. I never should have.
I blame myself for all the pain I went through. Cuz I clung to something that wasn't real anymore.
He wasn't ready for love, but I thrived on it.
But off that subject, because I don't obsess about it anymore, and there's no reason for me to do so now.
I quit Willy's and started working at Top Con Positioning Systems, where I've been since June.
Jessica got me the job, and Brian worked with us for a while, then they both left and I was forced to actually befriend people here, which I'm ecstatic about, cuz the people rock my world.
I work full time, usually up to 60 hours a week. But the pay is so worth not having a life. I mean, it sucks, but I get to have fun the little time I'm not working.
I got a car! My Acura broke down, and I drove a rental for like, 2 months, (expensive shit!!!!) and then my dad bought me a white '93 Honda Civic Hatchback. It's awesome. It has a great system, 17's, white rims, it's lowered, has an intake system, it's neat. Me and Raymond flew up to Oregon, and drove it back down. It was the first time I saw my dad in like, years, 3 or 4...... It was nice, I missed him.
I moved out of my house in Byron, and moved into Raymond's house with Ray, Rob (Elise's boyfriend) and Jason (Rob's friend). It's cool. It's nice being able to hang out with my friends at my house. The parties aren't bad either.
I still smoke.
I dunno, not much has happened. I mean, a lot has happened, but nothing too exciting, and nothing that pops out besides what I mentioned. Life's alright.
I'm a little down.
But I'm always lonely.
OOH! I almost got together with this guy I work with, Mark, but he's 27 and got drunk at Robert's birthday party in Santa Cruz, and I guess he was talking shit to Scott about how he has hoes all over the place, and I'm just another one, and so Scott's fried punched Mark in the face, knocked the fucker out. I felt all bad for him, cuz Scott wouldn't tell me what was happening, and so at like 3 in the morning I drove Joey and Mark back to Brentwood. Mark stayed at my house and we made out a little, nothing else though, and then I found out why he got punched the next day, and Mark's been on my shit list ever since.
Then there's Ian, who's a hottie, but has a girlfriend (and I work with him too).
There's Jason, who I had a crush on, and now I think is midly annoying. I mean, I could probably end up strongly disliking him, but I live with him, and I don't wanna live with people I don't like. So I wear ignorant sunglasses to make everything even.
Jessica has a class on Tuesdays and Thursdays and she said there's a guy who would be perfect for me, but she was gonna talk to him last week, and he wasn't in class.
And then there's Trevor. Trevor is Elise's fault. I hadn't thought of him in forever, and she tells me he was gonna come over last night. He ended up not coming over, but I expect to see him soon, and I intend to impress if nothing else.
I'm still boy-crazy, but I'm trying to focus more on work, and I'm gonna try and start beauty school soon, because everyone intends to move down to L.A. in about 18 months.
CRAZY STUFF!!! Anywho, I promise to update again! And hopefully we'll get something set up at home so I can put up new pictures. My hair's so long!!!! But for now.....
Goodbye, and love to all. |
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| 10:24pm 06/04/2004 |
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He dumped me a month ago, and my wounds won't stop bleeding. |
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| 05:23pm 18/01/2004 |
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mood:  bitchy
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I've noticed that barely anyone posts on lj anymore.
I'm no exception.
Maybe moving, prolly not, who the fuck knows.
Maybe getting a car, prolly not, who the fuck knows.
I don't like James.
At all.
Acting class was fun, I'm exceited for the rest of my classes.
Going to Sonora tonight.
Anything else? Oh yeah.....
I fucking love John more than anything else that ever existed.... Ever. |
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| I'm growing older |
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| 07:34pm 06/01/2004 |
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mood:  bored
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Hello everyone, long time no post.
And I'm not upset about it!
I don't wanna spend more time on the internet, or at home.
I'm in love.
And I turn 18 in 3 days.
And I may be moving to Byron to live in a cool house, with a room of my own.
And I may be getting a car within a week. And a license this month.
And I'm starting school on the 15th. 2 acting classes, a film class, and a human sexuality class.
And my work schedule is being changed.
Or else I will quit, because I can't stand it there already.
I miss holding John.
I can tomorrow.
Love to all. |
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| 02:15pm 20/12/2003 |
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mood:  rushed
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Everyone's coming home. And I feel bad because I want to make time for everyone, but I barely have enough time for myself, or my boyfriend.
Christmas is way too stressful.
I just want it to be over with.
FUCK. |
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| The latest |
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| 10:12pm 10/12/2003 |
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mood: blah
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I've been working, and sleeping, and makin out.
AND I"M FUCKING SICK AS HELL.
It's terrible.
I had a coughing attack in John's bed last night. He shushed me.
I got hecka mad at him last night (well, not hecka mad, and I could only stay mad if I didn't look at him) because he ran away from me to play video games, and because he was making fun of me with James.
I didn't look at him when he tried to talk to me and kiss me and stuff.
So he paused the game, ran over to me, hugged me for like, 10 minutes, showered me with kisses, and apologized.
How could I not forgive him?
I work tomorrow for 2 hours during the half day rush. BULLSHIT. It's just cuz I couldn't say no to a chicks face who asked me to work for her.
Then I go shopping!
Friday's gonna be alright, cuz I get offa work at 5:30 instead of 7.
And Saturday's gonna rock.
Drinkin' with John, Brian, Ashley, Rudy, Michelle (Or else just Peter instead of Rudy and Michelle), and no Marie or James. Don't get me wrong, I love Marie, and James is alright. But when they have to work, we have to be super quiet, or at least try, and it's hard when you drink.
REAL HARD.
Ok, later! |
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| I told Daniel I would! |
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| 07:21pm 07/12/2003 |
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1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?
21. You're done, now that wasn't so hard was it? |
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| Gah |
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| 12:41pm 03/12/2003 |
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mood: annoyed
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I could sleep in his arms forever and ever.
He made me laugh last night like i haven't laughed in forever.
Some notable quotes:
"Don't fart on me!"
"You gotta warn me to move!" "Warn you" "It's like Rudolf the red nosed reindeer!"
"Feel my butt hair, it's so soft!"
HAH. Awesome.
P.S. I *did* feel his butt hair. And it was hella soft. HAHAHAHA. |
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| Ho to the humdrum |
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| 08:02pm 02/12/2003 |
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mood: blah
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Thanksgiving was good. Akward with one side of the family, but awesome with the other.
I love his g-ma, sister, her fiance, and his uncle tom.
I got a cellphone.
I havent seen John in 2 days, and pathetically enough, I miss him so much.
Brian might take me out to Antioch tonight.
But I don't know if he's staying the night here. I hope not, so I can go.
So from 2 people's journals I've learned that it's Rudy's b-day today, and that Peter's coming back.
Both of which should interest Brian.
I'm hungry... we have leftover pizza and fucked up fudge, so I think I'll go eat.
P.S. work sucks ass. |
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| What am I REALLY thankful for? |
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| 07:09pm 26/11/2003 |
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mood: bored
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Ok, so I'm going to Thanksgiving at John's gramparent's house tomorrow. And they do the whole thing where everyone lists off what they're thankful for, so I figure I'll make mine on here......
I'm thankful for my mom and sister.
For John.
For my job.
For my friends.
For this great meal.
Uh..... shit, I don't know what else! AH! |
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| Request for your help..... |
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| 12:46am 20/11/2003 |
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Ok, John and I decided to write poems for each other, and then swap them. I wrote mine, but I'm not too sure about it, because I'm never too sure about my poems. So I'm gonna post it for you guys, and you tell me, honestly, what you think, ok?
Your smile is amazing,
It brightens up my day.
And your eyes are simply wonderful,
They chase my blues away.
So fragile on the outside,
Any force could tear you apart.
So tender on the inside,
My love could break your heart.
My heart beats ever faster
When you draw nearer to me.
I'll never know anyone sweeter,
No one could possibly be.
With every day that passes,
With each second I spend by your side,
I know that this has more meaning,
Than the sun, the moon, than the sky.
There's so much love inside you,
I see it in your eyes.
It's nothing to be ashamed of,
My heart has the same reply.
A million words can't ever explain
Just how you've changed my world.
You'll always be safe with me,
I'm so proud to be your girl.
So? |
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| Wow |
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| 12:58am 13/11/2003 |
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The most amazing thing ever said to me by a guy:
"When we first met, you wrote me all those beautiul letters, and then you became so beautiful to me. It's like a fairy tale, isn't it? You are so beautiful."
Again, lemme say....
Wow. |
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| 07:53pm 09/11/2003 |
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We kissed, a lot.
So much to say, but i'm exhausted so details later.
All i can say right now is we're in like so much.....!!!!!!!!! |
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| Movies kick ass. |
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| 09:09pm 04/11/2003 |
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mood: hopeful
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We held hands, and locked arms, and cuddled up, and giggled a lot.
He said he likes me to Patty, but he doesn't wanna ruin our friendship, and also he doesn't know how to act because he's only had one girlfriend, and it wasn't a big relationship.
I agree, but still!!!!
I just can't wait till this weekend. Work's been shitty.
I need a break.
We saw Kill Bill a second time. That's when we locked arms and cuddled up. Just because. I made the move, and he moved back. I hope things progress. I don't wanna get into it too much because I don't wanna jinx it. I want him to call tonight though!
I should call him, but I'm a puss.
Night. |
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| P.S. |
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| 10:54pm 29/10/2003 |
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I've decided to stop hiding what's going on in my life.
There will rarely be any 'friends only' entries from now on.
My reason for having so many of my entries proctected was stupid.
I don't care who knows now.
Because I'm proud of my life, and my emotions and feelings, and I want everyone to know about the greatness.
MMhMM. |
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freekaleek's journal
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